I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
