So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
