we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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