So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
