dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
