Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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