Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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