party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
