I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize