talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
