HIV tests are more positive than that guy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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