Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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