gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize