I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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