I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How does one acquire holy water?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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