people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
