i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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