just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
