life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
