Porn is love you can see.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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