Your dad touched me again.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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