So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
