I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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