What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
