you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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