You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
