i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
accomplished twins. life is a go
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
