i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
