For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize