Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
