Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
