it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
