Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
