So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
