:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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