All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
