Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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