I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
