Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
