well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
