my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
