Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
