When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
