don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize