I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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