Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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