It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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