I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
