My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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