ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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