curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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