i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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