so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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