dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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