How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize