he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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