i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
zippers are such a cool invention
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
