i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
