There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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