Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
