Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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